7 Habits of Highly Successful Teens
Habit 5
5.
Seek First to Understand, and then to be Understood
Because most people don’t listen very well, one of the great
frustrations in life is that many don’t feel understood. This habit will ensure
your teen learns the most important communication skill there is: active
listening.
Why is this habit key to communication? It’s because the
deepest need of the human heart is to be understood. Everyone wants to be
respected and valued for who they are- a unique, one-of-a-kind,
never-to-be-cloned individual. People won’t expose their soft middles unless
they feel genuine love and understanding. Once they feel it, however, they will
tell you more than you may want to hear. People don’t care how much you know
until they know how much you care.
Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. 7 percent of
communication is contained in the words we use. The rest comes from body
language (53 percent) and how we say words, or the tone and feeling reflected
in our voice (40 percent). Most people are eager to talk and had rather talk
than listen. We have on mouth and two ears. This means we should listen twice
as much as we talk. We actually learn more while listening rather than when we
talk. Learn to listen and listen to learn. Listen, really listen, for
understanding. Seek first to understand then to be understood- LISTEN.
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